The feeling that I have in my heart today and on most days is this:
I’m grateful that marriage is more than a wedding, more than a friendship, more than shared values and a lot of inside jokes and fun and adventures together (though I do LOVE these simple joys).
I’m grateful that marriage is acquainted with difficulty. I’m grateful that I now know and see (and continue to see) the many ways I fall short as Ben’s counterpart. I’m grateful that what I want is often disrupted by what is required of me as a Christ-following wife. I’m grateful that I can’t hide my selfishness from my husband. He sees and he knows.
I’m grateful for these things because they are true. I do fall short. I struggle. I cling tightly to idols. I have dark places in my heart that I would rather keep a secret from anyone that might shed light.
But the truth is that marriage is the thing that sheds light and Christ is the one who knowingly died for every one of my sinful moments therein. He has made a way in spite of every shortcoming. He is stronger than every idol and he is more intentional than even the most intentional husband (mine!). He pursues the heart and loosens even the most tightly gripped hand.
That is true love. Hallelujah.
So, I’m grateful. I am grateful for a faithful God who sees, knows, loves, and covers. I am grateful for a patient husband who sees, knows, loves, and hopes.
I can easily say that the day I married Ben was the day I loved him the least. After two years of forgiving and being forgiven, gracing and being shown grace, and encouraging and being encouraged daily, life has been breathed into our marriage and real love into our hearts.
One day, one prayer, one hope, one confession, one offer of forgiveness, and one encouragement at a time.
“But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by deceitfulness of sin.”
Ben and I embark on a different season of life now with new joys, continued trials and a lot of anticipation for what might be next. We know that whatever is to come, we are not alone. We are heirs with Christ. What a stirring in my heart at what has been done by a faithful God and what an excitement and hope at what is still to be done.
It is with a full and aware heart that I say to the man that I would marry one hundred times again,